The Tao of Rodney.

Well, I wrote a really detailed description of "The Tao of Rodney," but my stupid computer shut down and now it's gone. Let me just say, it rocked my world. I love Dr. McKay. Unfortunately, my love of McKay is slowly being pushed aside by my love of Dr. Perry Cox of Scrubs. Even Kris likes Dr. Cox, and usually when I'm in love with a TV character, Kris hates him. This time, though, he actually respects my love enough to not comment on it. He even likes singing his wrong song.

And now, Dr. Cox:

I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything every-everything that exists, past, present, and future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions! ...Oh, and Hugh Jackman.

(And J.D.'s mental response to this? "Hugh Jackman is Wolverine! How dare he.")

RE: Bastards!

Those bastards at ASU STILL have not posted my grades. They will pay!

Bastards!

Grades now will not be posted until Monday. There is no excuse for my grades not to be up. I took my last final over a week ago. Sorry, but I remember my professors not being lenient with me about this kind of stuff, and I don't ever remember getting more than a week to finish an assignment, either.

I couldn't find where they should be posted before, but I finally found out it's under "Registration History." I have no idea why. Shouldn't it be under "Records"? I mean, it's a record of how you did in the class, right? But don't ask me. I'm just a college student.

"Ah, the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots."

Fall Grades.

A friend of mine told me the other day that grades for the University would be posted on the website Thursday. And what a surprise, ASU hasn't gotten around to posting them. What a shock. See, I could probably view them on my transcript, but I have a hold on my account because I owe them $50. Not for a parking fine or anything (although they do love to give those out). In fact, this is the first semester that I've ever not gotten a single ticket. No, the reason I owe them money is from an internal error. I got my parking tag the first day of classes, which they charge to your account. For some reason, though, they decided to send me a refund check for my excess financial aid before charging my parking tag to my account. Grr. It's infuriating. I just want to see if I passed.

I would go pay it today, but that would eat up all the money that I have, so I'm going to wait until I get paid tomorrow.

I miss Kris. He's at work.

I made a pretty good five-alarm chili last night, but since it required some beer to make it, I used it as an opportunity to go to the liquor store, and I got a little tipsy last night, which did not mix well with the chili. Fortunately, I slept it off before I got sick.

Later!

"I can be terse. Once in flight school I was laconic."

Nathan Fillion!

Can't sleep, can't sleep! (It's after 5:30 a.m., by the way.)

I watched Slither a few hours ago, and it was good. Plus, Nathan Fillion (who you should remember as Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly) is the hero, an adorable small town police chief who curses a lot. Awesome. Although I am still experiencing some lingering sadness about the death of the Mayor, who sent me into fits of hysteria with his rants. His rage over the lack of Mr. Pibb in the cooler while everybody was getting taken over by slug-like creatures was particularly memorable.

Now I'm watching Firefly in honor of Nathan while trying to wake my boyfriend out of a sound sleep for work. Since I can't ever sleep, I have become a human alarm clock.

By the way, I chickened out of my haircut before Thanksgiving. Maybe later today?

"Hey, I didn't fight in no war. Good luck to you, though!"

Irresponsible.

That's right, I saw "Irresponsible," the next installment in my series of Atlantis episodes that won't be shown in the U.S. until March. I rule, I know. It was pretty good, but the stuff with Kolya and Sheppard was pretty anticlimactic, not to mention that there wasn't even close to enough McKay time. I can't wait for "The Game." It's going to rule.

I also had an awkward conversation with my mom about why I don't go to church. Yikes.

I've been watching Scrubs (for Dr. Cox, like I always say), and it's been pretty funny. Turk sings this hilarious song to his wife to the tune of the Sandford and Son theme song:

"Quet down now
It is time to watch the show
Yes it's starting
Don't be lickin' me no mo'
Matter of fact, get me a Handi-Wipe!"

Turk's other hilarious moment came when he beat his wife arm wrestling and said, "Do you see what happens, Carla? Do you see what happens when you mess with the warrior?" It was pretty awesome, but unfortunately, now it's Kris's new thing.

We got Marvel Ultimate Alliance from GameFly yesterday, and it rocks my world. Right now I'm playing Wolverine. Kris and I were playing together--he was Thor--but he quit because I wouldn't stop telling him how gay Thor is. Now I have to play alone.

Well, I actually only got on to kill some time. I want to watch World's Wildest Police Videos, but I wanted to let it go for a few minutes so that I can fast forward through the commercials. I love police videos. You see some pretty wild shit on them. I've seen cars get T-boned by 18 wheelers, I've seen crazy fugitives, I've seen cars fly into establishments, I've seen cars explode, and I've seen more car crashes and PIT maneuvers than I can even remember.

"Lemme ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside somebody's clogged artery when all that person has to do, really is - oh, I don't know - go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that? And, I know here, I know I'm supposed to be Dr. Give-A-Crap, but you wanna hear the God's honest truth? And this is a fact: you are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?"

--Dr. Cox to a fat patient

Free at last!

Dr. Cox: Go ahead and thank what's-his-name.
Nurse: Jesus?
Dr. Cox: That's the one.

That's about how I feel right now. You see, normally right now, I'd be saying, Oh, crap, it's 2:00 in the morning and... then I would worry about how I should be asleep so that I could get up and go to class tomorrow, or how I was neglecting to do some studying or homework. But not now, baby! I finished my last final today, and that means I have a month out of school with no worries about papers or grades. Hallelujah!

Tomorrow, Kris and I both get paid, and I'm off! I already registered for classes. I'm excited about Plagues and Pestilence, which will be taught by my advisor and is about the history of disease around the world. It will be interesting, and it will count for one of my world histories (after this I only need one more). We even talked in her office about The Hot Zone and The Cobra Event. Unfortunately, I can't put off taking Practice of History anymore, even though I already know how to write a paper in a history class. I've been doing it for several years, thank you. That's what the whole class is, you know. An introduction to Tarabian (which I had to use in high school) and how to cite sources, with a big paper due at the end that you have to have an advisor for. (My plan right now is to do something on disease and get my advisor to help with that, too.)

After this semester, just two more German classes until I finish my minor. Plus, my advisor thinks that I can graduate next spring! I'm on the road.

Saw "Echoes," and it was funny and cool, of course. Poor Rodney; he had to take Drammamine before he could go down in the water in a Jumper for the third time since they arrived on Atlantis, and the second time within two consecutive episodes. I love sarcastic guys so much, it's really pathetic. The only reason that I watch Scrubs is because of Perry (Dr. Cox). I really don't like any of the other characters, except maybe the Janitor. I actually want to scratch Elliot's eyes out with a scalpel. But Dr. Cox makes everything worth it. He's just so mean. He makes me so happy. I've even been watching a little Becker recently, and he made me happy just the other day by blaming some gum he stepped in on the street on the IRS. It was beautiful.

"Impossible! It came to me in a dream. And I forgot it in another dream."

My new hero.

I have found someone new to worship, and that person is Chelsea Handler. I liked a lot of the things that she said on her show, but the main thing that made me sit up and pay attention was this line: "And why are we letting Angelina Jolie have kids? Doesn't anybody remember when she was making out with her brother with a vial of blood around her neck? I would rather see a baby in a dumpster than in her arms." It's about time that somebody said it. I've been thinking it ever since I saw all the shit that's out about what an amazing activist and mother she is. Please! It's easy to be an activist when you're a celebrity. They act like we're all bad people for not donating money and time, but some of us don't have any of either. If I were a celebrity with millions of dollars, I'm sure that I could throw a few thousand at a charity and take a token trip to an orphanage in Africa, too. (Although after reading The Hot Zone, I'm pretty much scared shitless of Africa.) I just think that rich people who preach at us are all hypocrites. Why don't you give up your million dollar homes and all of your material things if it's so important to help others? Why do you need all that money? Don't preach at us, bitch.

On a lighter note, my mother and I will be watching the next episode of Atlantis tomorrow, called "Echoes." It will be about McKay and Sheppard going down in the water in a jumper (the second time McKay has had to do it since his traumatic experience in "Grace under Pressure") to study whales. It's going to be awesome, probably with a lot of McKay and Sheppard back and forth. Yay illegal downloads!

Back to annoyed. I'm almost out of cigarettes, so I have to ration them because I'm not going out again. Wah. I like cigarettes.

Time for South Park!

"Bodies are for hookers and fat people."